Father’s Day
is coming up and it’s a good time to remember fathers all over the world who
stay involved in their children’s lives.
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| Father and Son |
In most
societies, the father is tasked with providing for the children and the child
rearing responsibilities are given to the mother. However, it is becoming
clearer that fathers provide an integral element in raising happy and balanced
children. Modern fathers know the grave importance of having an active role in
their children’s upbringing. Many studies have shown the many benefits that
children reap in their social, emotional and intellectual growth when they have
an open line of communication with their fathers.
For
children, talking with their dads is a way that they feel loved. It is also an
opportunity for fathers to affirm their children. Various cultures demonstrate
their love and affection towards their children in a number of ways.
Communicating with children is an integral aspect in building a strong family
relationship in just about any society.
Talking during shared activities
Rather than
directly confronting children with lessons, many fathers opt the more subtle
approach of communicating with their children when doing activities together.
Fathers can bond with their sons over a game of basketball, while driving to
soccer practice in the car or when doing chores such as washing the dishes or
cleaning the car together in the home.
This is
important because research has shown that frequency in communication is an
important aspect of building a strong relationship with children.
These
simple activities are excellent opportunities for fathers to delve into their
children’s lives. It is less intimidating and children feel less threatened in
sharing their thoughts and feelings or answering questions when in a more
casual setting.
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| African Art "Father and Son" |
In many
African tribes, rather than instituting corporal punishment for a child that
has misbehaved, the father will take the child out for a long walk to help calm
down the child and to reassure him of love. At the same time, the correct
lessons are imparted without having to yell loudly and using violence, thereby
keeping the interaction free of negative energy.
Dads share stories
One major
difference between fathers and mothers when bonding with their children is that
fathers tend to reveal themselves to their children through stories. Sharing
personal stories about their own childhood or relating other experiences is a
way that children can learn various morals and abstract concepts from their
fathers.
For
example, Native American Indian fathers believe they are keepers of their
children and raise their children to help develop their skills to become
productive members of the tribe by imparting tribal stories and legends from
one generation to another.
In many
other cultures, fathers share stories and experiences from their own past,
providing children a glimpse of their father’s values and personality. The
self-esteem of sons is given a boost when they feel that they have something in
common with their father.
Dads involve humor
One
difference that fathers bring to the table when talking to their children is
humor. Stories come alive when using voices, telling jokes or sharing funny
anecdotes. This is probably one reason why story telling with dads is such an
anticipated activity with children.
The Aka Dads
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| The father and son of a Aka tribe community of Arunachal Pradesh |
The Aka are
considered one of the least ethnically and linguistically groups in Central
Africa. The language spoken by the Aka tribesmen is primarily Diaka, which has
three tones making their language sound rather musical. Bantu (Oubanguian) and
Sango are other languages spoken. Their words and actions towards their
children is truly something impressive.
The best
dads in the world are supposed to be the AKA Pygmy people in Central Africa and
in Northern Congo. This hunter gatherer tribe only numbers 20,000 individuals
but have some of the most loving interactions with their children. What is
amazing about them is that the males in the tribe are some of the most involved
fathers in human history.
Infants in
the tribe have easy access to their fathers 47% of the time. Compared to other
cultures and societies, the men in the Aka tribe play more with their children
and spend more time holding and cuddling their infants by at least five times
than of fathers in other cultures.
The Aka
tribesmen are also willing to care for their children. They have even been
known to allow their infants to suckle at their nipple when the mother is not
around. This show of intimacy at a very young age lays the foundation for
excellent communication with the children as they age. These people are able to
illustrate the importance and possibility of close physical contact and
interaction with their young.
The fathers
also help in naming their children by giving them unique personal names. In
some cases, young children may be called Bimba,
which means flea, or even Madjembe,
which refers to intestinal worms. These names aren’t necessarily meant as
insults but may simply sound nice, which is why they are used as names by Aka
fathers.
Ashanti fathers
The Ashanti
people in central Ghana also have active fathers in the community. It is the
father’s task to teach the son a skill from age eight or nine. However, uncles
are also given an important role in raising the child. It is the task of the
mother’s brother to teach young boys how to use the talking drums. These
talking drums are important in learning the Ashanti language. These drums are
also used during various ceremonies and are used in communicating with others.
Fathers all
over the world simply play a pivotal role in the development of their children
in what they say and do to their children. Whether it’s dads in America, padre in Spanish speaking countries, baba in Swahili, a fuquin in China or a chichi
in Japan, fathers deserve to be applauded! Happy Father’s Day!
Photo
Credits: Wikimedia Commons
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